I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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