Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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