You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
