I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize