oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
