my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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