explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize