Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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