He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
