There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
