we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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