I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
