did you get engaged???
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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