do herpes really smell.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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