all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If I die, sorry about rent.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
