Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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