What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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