Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
