I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish you could order shots online.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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