i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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