Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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