Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
