I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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