hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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