Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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