we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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