I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
