2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Umm I'm too high to move.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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