you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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