Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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