also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
