we have pet lesbian snakes
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
