it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
