Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
