That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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