I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
