I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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