the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
