Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
