The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
