Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
