Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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