A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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