i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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