I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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