I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
