Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you still have your period?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
