If i come over, it means nothing
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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