Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize