best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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