Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
