And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize