Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize