ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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