I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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