I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think my moral compass just broke
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
