I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
