The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
